tuesday

the lady I work for had a wooden floor on her balcony. it was brandnew and looked really classy, I would have loved it for our balcony but mum doesnt believe there very handy and would get slippery if it rains. for a moment I thought about buying it but buying something like that would mean im staying here. I dont want too.. lately I havent got a clue what I want anymore. ill just wait and see for a while, I cant stay in a total state of confusion for the rest of my life now can I?
walking back from work I coulnt help but smile, the sun was so lovely. I was still in my wintercoat but I tugged half my scarf in my right pocket. it was still dangling next to my right leg but better then wearing it. as I stept on the grass I smelled the waterditch on my left side. because the water isnt moving the warmth made it smell rotten. thats why the grass is there so people dont have to walk right next to the ditch but that grass is a perfect shortcut so I took my changes. the smell isnt that strong and when the wind changed the fresh air made everything better. when I passed the flat across from ours I could here that the men where still working on the roof. I didnt knew what they where doing there and to be honest I didnt even care. when I turned left to get into our flat I took my keys out of my coatpocket. there 3 keys 1 for the frontdoor, door in the hall and one to open the mailbox, an extra key to open Rene's frontdoor (I clean for him) and my 8ball keychain. in the lift I unbuttoned my coat knowing that maybe and hopefully I dont even have to wear my wintercoat anymore in a view weeks.

at home I found my mum reading while sitting in the sunlight. it made me smile, she always used to read to me when I was little. she made me see how lost a person can be in a book and how much fun it is to read. I started to read more again altho im not a strong reader if I have to read out loud. I can read better in English then Dutch out loud. maybe because I have to concentrate more or because I simply care if its in English. maybe its the last reason more otherwise this would all be in Dutch. its 5o'clock now, almost dinner time. I see now I've been talking for way to long so ill say bye for now.